Self improvement might be holding you back!
By: Kim Scheid
Head Mind-Body Coach, Three Point Balance
You want to better yourself. Improve. Grow!
You work hard to do this, especially when it comes to your health and unwanted patterns that get in the way.
But, “self Improvement” can hold people back from what they are truly capable of!
I know this sounds very bassackwards, but, the posture of FIXING yourself, can create internal resistance that keeps you from what you really want!
Instead of fixing yourself, I invite you to embrace the goal of Awareness. Awareness embraces the parts of you that feel broken, and opens you up to compassion and changes that feel life giving instead of shaming.
Awareness is the ability to curiously listen to your body, mind and spirit, and to use these connections to support your needs, desires, boundaries and purpose - a life lived in integrity!
This is fueled by Curiosity. Lots and lot of curiosity. Curiosity opens you up to receive innate wisdom and beautiful energy, that would otherwise stay dormant.
Want to get Curious?
I thought so. Begin by developing a tool box of powerful questions.
Two of my favorites are:
“What am I feeling right now?” - an emotion or feeling
“What is asking to be seen?” - a need or desire
EXAMPLE
It’s been a stressful day at work. You’re finally home and you have planned to cook a healthy meal for yourself and your family. Instead, take-out is calling to you because, after all, you deserve a BREAK!
Tug of war ensues . . .
“I should eat healthy food” VS
“Take-out pizza sounds like a gift from heaven!”
This is a moment to practice LISTENING.
Ask yourself “what am I feeling?” (an emotion or feeling)
State an emotion, as specific as you can possibly get. Practice being with it from a place of acceptance for just a few seconds.
“I am feeling really tired!”
“I am feeling resistance to sticking with my eating plan.”
OK - this is a pause of self awareness that accepts something you’re feeling instead of trying to fix it. Energy shift!!
Next question - “what is asking to be seen?” (a need or desire)
“The need for a break is asking to be seen!”
“The desire to stick with my healthy eating choices is also asking to be seen!”
Results - inner wisdom!!
“I need a break SO THAT I can stick to my healthy eating intentions!”
Now that your energy is shifted and you can accept tiredness and the need for a break, start solving the need at hand . . .
-Order healthy take-out instead of pizza and wings.
-Take the dogs for a walk to reset and feel more energized before cooking.
-Ask for help to prepare the meal.
-Simplify what you were going to cook and sit down after dinner to find a good resource for prepared healthy meals you don’t have to cook so much next week!
Practice what it feels like to simply notice and name, notice and name, notice and name. See what you uncover. See how this shift changes a state of stress or reactionary actions, like emotional eating.
It’s kind of crazy how simply allowing a hard thing to exist in yourself, your body, or your emotional landscape can actually change your reaction to it! But it does!
This is just the tip of the iceberg for how my team and I at Three Point Balance work with our clients to step into their true potential, for a body, mind and heart in harmony!
Action: How might you shift from the goal of self improvement to an agenda of self awareness that’s driven by curiosity and the anticipation of some beautiful discoveries?
AUTHOR
Kim Parker Scheid
Head Nourishment Coach,
Three Point Balance
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