The War of Health
Conquering Resistance through Awareness, Nourishment and Movement
By: Mike simmons, md
Head MOVEMENT Coach, Three Point Balance
“The cardiologist told him to lose 20 pounds on our last visit and since then he’s gained 5 more pounds. He just doesn’t get it!”
Clearly frustrated, Susan, (not her real name) one of my clients, vented during our recent session. It was during the Christmas Holidays. Susan and Jack, her husband, live in a beautiful New England town where the Christmas spirit of giving lives on. The neighbors love Jack and Susan and brought cookies and friends shared candies created with old family recipes and his daughters sent treats, oh, and the fruitcake…Sweets seemed to be growing on the tree along with the ornaments. Jack has a sweet tooth. Susan was worried and reminded Jack of the cardiologist’s warnings. Knowing Jack’s weakness, she took all the sugary delicacies and put them in the freezer so she could dole them out one at a time. But Jack, undeterred, raided the freezer and made short work of it. This was not a situation of “you really should lose some weight”. Jack’s health is tenuous, the cardiologist was not kidding.
WHY? Why, in spite of direct instructions from the cardiologist and Susan’s loving care, is Jack persisting in the behaviors that he knows are slowly killing him?
In a word, Resistance.
Resistance is that force inside Jack pushing back against change. Anytime, anyone wants to grow personally, get healthy, create something, advance spirituality, start a business - resistance lurks. Jack doesn’t know why he’s opposed to Susan and the cardiologist and his own desire to do better, for that matter. He just feels a threat to his freedom and hears a voice in his head telling him he needs those cookies. It’s almost like he’s ready to die for his right to eat cookies!!
Steven Pressfield wrote all about resistance in The War of Art and clearly resistance is lurking-everywhere. He describes resistance as “a force of nature that is universal and impersonal, like the laws of gravity and thermodynamics”. He says “any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity. Or, expressed another way, any act that derives from our high nature instead of our lower. Any of these will elicit Resistance.”
What Jack is doing, by chowing down on the cookies, is falling to the all too human desire for immediate gratification even though his rational brain knows it’s at the expense of his long term health. Jack has fallen victim to one of the many disguises of resistance.
Resistance is remarkably creative. Mr. Pressfield depicts it this way. “Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate, falsify; seduce, bully, cajole. Resistance is protean. It will assume any form, if that’s what it takes to deceive you. It will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine-millimeter in your face like a stickup man. Resistance has no conscience. It will pledge anything to get a deal, then double-cross you as soon as your back is turned. If you take resistance at its word, you deserve everything you get. Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.”
Resistance has a powerful voice. It says you don’t have enough time or too many commitments. You’ll start tomorrow, or you just don’t have the motivation. Resistance is fear, it tells you you’re not good enough, that you can’t live without that secret habit. It keeps you bound in drama, or fear of failure. Resistance always finds the most persuasive arguments against whatever it is you are trying to create. Resistance is the self loathing that beats you down when you fail.
Resistance is the force that keeps you from your truest self.
Unless you’re on the lookout, you won’t even know that it’s resistance whispering in your ear.
Steven Pressfield is primarily talking about creative work. But, the month of January is littered with broken promises to exercise or quit drinking or start eating more vegetables, all shattered on the rocks of resistance. Resistance is the exact same force standing in the way of a healthier lifestyle as the resistance standing in the way of a budding novelist.
So what are we to do? Resistance is not invincible, it’s just really hard to overcome unless you beat it at its own game. You have to be more clever than resistance.
We cannot fight resistance with brute force. Resistance is too clever for this!! Diets, willpower, restriction, drill sergeant coaching - none of it lasts. You know this!
At Three Point Balance, we will guide you on a path to defeating resistance using 3 foundational pillars:
Awareness
Nourishment
Movement
AWARENESS
You must recognize resistance or it will win every time. Expect it. Welcome it, even - it’s a sure sign you’re headed in the right direction. But you have to be wary because resistance will sneak up on you.
Ry Cooder once recorded a song about trouble and the chorus goes like this:
“Trouble you can’t fool me, I see you behind that tree
Trouble you can’t fool me, trying to get the ups on me
Trouble you can’t fool me, I see you behind that tree
You want to jump on me.”
And then he ends the last verse of the song like this:
“You know one thing? What’s that?
Every time you get around a tree,
you better stop and grab a brick. (Why?)
Old man trouble…laying and waiting on you!”
That’s it. That’s resistance. It’s hiding everywhere and it’s trying hard to take you down and if you’re not ready it’s “laying and waiting on you”.
If you don’t see resistance raise it’s ugly head as soon as you commit to “any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity”, you’re not looking hard enough.
Stop imagining that your lack of motivation or the fear of failure or absence of self discipline is some sort of moral failing on your part. It’s resistance and it’s normal and you must call it’s bluff!
One other thing you need to be aware of . . .
Resistance know’s your vulnerabilities better than you do. Whatever wall is most likely to stop you in your tracks, resistance will build it, and that’s the one you’re going to run into. So, notice it. Name it. Acknowledge your feelings of resistance. Trying to understand the source can be helpful but don’t get stuck there. Move on to the next step if you can’t figure out the root of it.
NOURISHMENT
Now it’s time to nurture your dream.
Don’t set a goal and then try to do it on your own. Tell your friends and family what you’re doing. Seek support. Water it. Feed it. Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you. Find people taking the same journey. Announce it on social media. Get a coach. Listen to inspiring podcasts. Read motivational books. Do whatever you can to nourish your dream, build a defense around your intention and keep "old man trouble” out.
Believe in yourself. Believe in your ability. Resistance will tell you that you are worthless, incapable, an imposter. Fight back with self affirmations, you can do this. Be a generous and wise coach to yourself. Be compassionate, it will go a long way in boosting your confidence and motivation and keeping resistance at bay.
Visualize your dream. How does it feel to achieve your goal? How will your friends and family react? What clothes will you wear? How will you feel about yourself? In what ways will your life be different? Be specific and detailed. Write yourself a “destination postcard” and put it in a conspicuous place where you’ll see it every day. When you picture the outcome, you reinforce your belief in your ability to achieve your goals and set up another defense against resistance.
Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Set up milestones as you plan your journey and choose rewards for reaching them. Congratulate yourself.
MOVEMENT
Now you’re ready to move. Take action. No amount of awareness or nourishing your dream will get the job done. Action overcomes resistance. Period.
But watch out! This is where Resistance gets sneaky again. “It’s all or nothing for me…” So, on day one you quit drinking and smoking, start eating vegan and training for a marathon, all at once, “let’s do this!” Meanwhile, resistance is over in the corner taking bets on how soon you’re going to fail!
You’ve got to start small. If you’re driving cross country you don’t jump in the car and try to make it all the way to LA in one day. You plan your trip. Make reservations. Look for sights you want to stop and see. It’s the same with your journey to a better version of yourself.
What, exactly, is your goal? Be specific. Trying to be a better person won’t cut it. How will you measure progress? How will you even know when you get there? “I want to become more fit so I will walk every day” is a specific measurable goal. Is your goal attainable? Walking for 30 minutes every day certainly is, but walking from New York to LA, not so much. Is your goal relevant? Does it move you towards your dream? Or, is it a distraction (another favorite tactic of resistance)? Finally, when will you do this? Setting a goal without a specific time to get it done, creates a perfect opening for resistance. “I’ll do it later….”
Develop a routine. Another crack in the wall where resistance weasels it’s way in, is decision making. If you put yourself in a situation where you have to decide to workout everyday, sooner or later the decision is going to be “no.” Just like you always brush your teeth right after dinner without making a decision to do it. It’s just a habit. “When I finish dinner, I brush my teeth.” You never argue with yourself about it, you just do it. So decide right now, what cue sets off your workout routine. For example, “when I go to bed I set out my running shoes and then when I get up in the morning the first thing I do is put on my running shoes, turn on the coffee maker I had prepared the night before. Drink my coffee and I’m out the door. You’re out running before resistance gets a chance to start bargaining with you.
Finally, you are not a machine. After I just told you to develop a routine I’m going to tell you sometimes you have to improvise. Maybe you’re injured or it’s a thunder storm and going outside would be dangerous so you stay inside and do some laps on the stairs. Keep the habit alive. Or maybe you had a fit of insomnia last night so you’re exhausted. Sometimes it’s better to take a day off or modify your workout. Just make sure it’s you making a decision that’s right for you, and not resistance finding excuses.
Overcoming resistance is a never ending battle. It’s the spiral of growth. Resistance will appear in one form and you’ll tackle it so it regroups and returns in a subtler form. It’s a journey. But it’s worth it. The next time you feel resistance, don’t shy away. Embrace it, tackle it and watch as you unlock your true potential.
Do you dream of reaching your full potential, your truest self, flourishing, through long-term growth, in balance of body, mind and spirit?
We would love to help. Three Point Balance offers a year-long intensive, personal, unique, exclusive online coaching program dedicated to those few who are truly interested in defeating resistance and finding the path to a healthier, more vibrant life.
AUTHOR
Michael Simmons MD
Head Movement Coach,
Founding Owner, Three Point Balance
Explore RELATED Articles
