Do you know how to be HUNGRY?

Written by Kim Scheid, Mind-Body coach

Right in the middle of a session, she blurts out . . . “I don’t think I actually know HOW to be hungry!”

And that’s when things really began to change.

So, I ask you, “Do you know how to be hungry?” What a weird question! Hunger is instinctual right? It's just there, like thirst. 

But is it?

I used to think about food ALL THE TIME. When I realized that I didn’t really know how to be with hunger and how to recognize and respond to different types of hunger, everything changed for me, just like it does for many of my clients.

Achieving our health goals requires self awareness, especially with hunger!  The ability to listen to hunger cues and be with hunger is often de-conditioned by our culture. On top of that, we’re surrounded by food that can make our brain go crazy. Many of us have been conditioned to use food as reward or punishment. Our relationship with food is complicated! And so is our relationship with HUNGER!

You are entitled to strong mind-body cues that support your values and your wellness goals! This is a skill or tool that requires some guidance and lots of practice. Just like all skills, the more you exercise that skill, the better you get at using it and the better your results become! 

​Let’s take a look into your Food Story

Hunger and Satiation (fullness) are very complex associations in our body. There’s a lot of chemistry going on here, mostly in our brains. It’s not as simple as the gas tank in your car, although we’ve been taught to think of it that way. In fact, it’s more common to eat when we are NOT running low on fuel since for most of us, food is everywhere. Not only that, the food and drink (hello Starbucks drive through) that’s all around us are the types that don’t fill us up physically and allow us to consume a significant amount of calories without much nutritional return. So, we keep eating.

Our culture is struggling in a significant way. There are often many reasons why someone can be easily driven by reactions to emotional and mental "hunger", while feeling threatened by or tuned out to ACTUAL hunger.

Your “food story” started as a kid. Maybe food was a reward, meal times were hectic and unpredictable, or healthy food was a punishment of sorts. Maybe mom was always on a diet or complaining about her weight. Maybe you felt you didn’t fit in physically with your friends. Or, perhaps whole nutritious food was just not on your table in forms that were satisfying and delicious. 

You grow up with these associations. But now you’re an adult. Dieting, food rules, being on track or off track, and demanding schedules that dictate your eating routine, stress and weight challenges add to the story. 

One day there’s a WAKE UP CALL. 

It might sounds something like this . . . “I don't know HOW to be hungry!”

Eating plans and food rules won’t teach you how to be with hunger and gain the self awareness tools you need for long term success and lasting weight loss. You’ve got to step into a posture of CURIOSITY and go deeper.

Let’s get HUNGRY

FIRST, it’s crucial to be able to feel the DIFFERENCE in your body and mind from physical hunger and non-physical hunger cues . . . without judgment. This is a process called “Notice and Name”. We notice what’s coming up. We name what it is. We do NOT judge it, analyze it or reason with it. We simply notice and name in mindful curiosity.

Typically, physical hunger usually comes from our belly. It’s a recognizable emptiness. It can be ignored, for a time. It can be missed or mistaken for thirst. It might have a “voice” that is patient for a while, but becomes louder with time. It might have emotions or chatter around “good vs bad or should’s”.

ExploRING Physical Hunger

- Identify what it feels like in your body. Describe it to yourself. 

- See if you can practice ranking it on a continuum of hunger and fullness (ie. -2 = very hungry, +2 = way too full, 0 = not physically hungry or full)

- Pause and remind yourself that you’re safe in feelings of hunger because you’re just exploring sensations for a few seconds. No need to instantly react.

- Recognize when you’ve ignored hunger for too long and notice what it’s like when the mind and body take over by eating foods and amounts that work against your goals and values. 

- Notice what specific foods or types of meal create the longest times of satiation or fullness. Notice what foods or meals don’t keep you full or that are very easy to overeat. (just notice for now, no “fixing” yet. Remember - you’re in Curiosity mode first)​

Exploring Emotional/Mental Hunger

• Mouth hunger (craving a specific taste or food)

• Stress hunger (knowing you aren’t hungry, but you just want to eat something)

• Energy hunger (feeling run down and looking for food to perk you up) 

• Experience hunger (desiring foods because of their meaning or value - ie. Grandma’s cookies)

• Emotional hunger (looking for an outlet with food)

• Boredom hunger (mindless munching often at night or mid day)

• Situational hunger (associating food with an activity, like watching a movie)

• Forced hunger (eating because it’s the only time you can, like with work)

• Preparatory hunger (eating because you’re worried about being hungry later)

• Compliance hunger (eating to fulfill a training or eating plan based on health goals)

• Binge hunger (a powerful combination of driving forces from the brain and body)

WOW! You might even think of more “hunger” scenarios. 

Practice identifying:

a) the physical sensations associated with the “hunger”

b) the chatter or emotions that come up in these scenarios

Side Note: It’s very important that you remain Morally Neutral when doing this work. Let go of all the should’s and guilt that can be associated with other types of hunger. There’s too much going on in your brain to label any of this as “bad” or “weak willed”. Self awareness with all your hunger cues will open up a much more effective understanding so you can begin to meet the needs of these types of hunger too! 

Let’s Put it in Action …

Here’s a sample of what might come up for someone who is beginning to explore their types of hunger:

“Physical Hunger feels like a very subtle emptiness in my tummy. Physical hunger sounds obligatory around making the “right” choice.”

“Mouth Hunger (craving those salty sweet no-no’s in my pantry), feels like a tension all over my body. Mouth hunger sounds noisy and demanding, from a posture of guilt. It also wants me to believe that if I just eat the nacho cheese caramel corn, the noise will go away!”

Do you see how this work is not about judging or analyzing? It’s a non-biased exploration of WHAT’S going on within you. And that level of self-awareness can change your patterns in a powerful way!

RECAP

Identify the physical and emotional/mental differences between true hunger and other types of hunger you experience. This can be referred to as the “language” of hunger. 

NEXT . . . 

Once you start to learn the language of many types of hunger, it’s time to go even DEEPER.

We guide our clients in lots of practice around meeting the NEEDS represented by those cues. This way, they are not suppressing things that will just come back with more energy than their willpower knows what to do with. 

You can learn how to be with ALL the parts of you who show up and “need” to eat. This is a teachable skill that translates into mindfulness that can naturally regulate how much you eat, when you eat, when you don’t eat, and what types of food you eat. Again, it puts YOU in the driver’s seat instead of food rules or parts of you that feel unruly and out of control. 

This is content for a separate blog, but let’s look at some real life examples of what can happen when people listen for the deeper needs behind their hunger cues:

• A sugar craving is recognized as cue to attend to anxiety building up in the body.

• An experiment with more protein for breakfast taught someone how to listen to their body’s response to food as she noticed her afternoon hunger feeling very differently than on days when she ate less protein in the morning. 

• Leaning into mindless snacking after work revealed a client’s need for alone time before jumping immediately into family obligations.

• An experiment with a green smoothie in the afternoon revealed a new super food that could boost energy so sweet cravings went away. 

• Emotional eating subsides as a client becomes very skilled at noticing and naming specific emotions underneath “false” hunger cues. 

• Noticing that after poor sleep carb cravings were much stronger, lead to working on better sleep instead of using strict food rules to control carbs.

• The desire a nice glass of wine with special dinners but also wanting weight loss turns into a healthy boundary of not buying wine at the store, but enjoying it as a treat on a weekly date night.

You may have heard of intuitive eating. But this is “intuitive living” - connecting with your body and needs by becoming more curious and self aware. It feels awkward at first to let go of many external parameters that have governed eating in the past. Once you begin to orient yourself through small experiments of self awareness, you’ll see how powerful and intuitive these mind-body connections really are. And in this process, you are claiming what you’re truly capable of . . . a life with food that feels empowered and a life within your body is defined by FREEDOM!

How might you begin to differentiate between physical hunger and other types of hunger cues?

Can you notice and name how these different cues feel in your body, your mind and your emotions?

What difference would these tools of self awareness make in your life with food?

AUTHOR

Kim Parker Scheid
Mind-Body Eating Coach,
CEO Three Point Balance

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